Issue 00017 - Are You Interested?
Welcome to 5 Bites – The BLTnT Newsletter!
Intro
As I often say, I’m a very fortunate guy — blessed with great relationships, mentors, coaches, and family.
One of those coaches is Kevin Schnieders (whom I respect) of EDSI. In one of our first meetings, I told him I wanted to become a better listener. He smiled and said, “You’re already in the training program — your BLTnT podcast is where you’re strengthening that muscle.”
It was great advice that I didn’t see myself, but I’ll admit I still catch myself worrying about coming off as a non-listener… or worse — a Braggy McBragsalot!
We all know Braggy McBragsalot — that person who can turn any topic into a personal highlight reel.
You mention skiing, and they’ve been heli-skiing in the Alps with the world’s best guides. You bring up a new trip idea, and they’ve already “done it better” or know something only the locals know.
You are enjoying your mom’s spaghetti in the lunchroom and yours could never be as good as their Nonna’s!
And that’s the worst, you don’t ask — and they blather on and on and on. They’re not bad people — they’ve just mistaken that this impresses others. They’ve confused being interesting with being interested.
My mother-in-law has a sign above her toilet that says (of all places), “You are my friend when you’ve walked in my moccasins.” It’s credited as an ancient Native American saying — and it’s true: people want others to be interested in them.
Let’s call Braggy McBragsalots, BMs for short.
And let’s be honest…even the best BM still stinks a little.
Because the moment we confuse being interesting as more important than being interested, we lose people. We start trying to prove how much we know, and we stop being curious — and curiosity is where all the good stuff happens.
Recently, while organizing some old notes, I stumbled across a visual from The Coaching Habit by 📚Michael Bungay Stanier— that simple manifesto reminder to:
“Stay curious a little longer. Rush to action and advice-giving a little more slowly.”
That visual really stopped me. I realized that most of what’s best in my relationships — at home, at work, and in faith — happens when I stay curiousinstead of jumping in to fix or prove. That discovery inspired this whole edition.
Because honestly, I’m surrounded by great examples of people who get this right. My son runs a residential cleaning company, and he’s legitimately excellent at business management and marketing. When he’s helping me with something, he’s not trying to show off — he’s sharing what he’s learned, genuinely excited for me to understand it.
And my daughter’s boyfriend — a guide-level hunter — is the same way. When he’s explaining something about gear or technique, it’s not “look what I can do.” It’s “let me help you enjoy this too.”
Neither one of them is a BM. They both rock at sharing experiences in ways that show they care about what I’m trying to learn.
I’m so fortunate to have mentors who are experts in this skill as well. And I’ll admit — I’ve met my fair share of BMs. Heck, I can be one sometimes. I pray that if I start dropping serious BM vibes, someone has the guts (and kindness) to call me out.
Because that’s how we grow.
Bite 1: The BM vs. the Triple H
Braggy McBragsalot says, “Watch me.”
Triple H — Humble-Happy-Human — says, “Tell me more.”
One performs for attention; the other participates with curiosity.
One drains a room; the other fills it with warmth.
Bite 2: Fresh Eyes, Fresh Energy
Show real interest in someone’s passion — whether it’s a sport like golfing, skiing, hunting, or a belief or purpose like learning more about Jesus — and watch them light up.
They’re not bragging; they’re re-living their own wonder through your curiosity.
Interest turns experts into joyful sharers.
“The expert in anything was once a beginner.” – Helen Hayes
Bite 3: The Humility of Curiosity
Triple H energy asks instead of asserts.
It says to a spouse, “What’s inspiring you lately?”
To a teammate, “What did you learn from that?”
It listens, absorbs, and celebrates others’ wins.
One of my favorite examples of this came from Matthew McConaughey. He asked his 13-year-old, “What’s it like to be a teenager nowadays?” — and then just listened. He said it was one of the best things he’s done in a while and learned so much about his child.
And when we think we’ve been interested enough… pause…
“Stay curious a little longer.” – The Coaching Habit, 📚Michael Bungay Stanier
Bite 4: Stay Teachable (Even with Tech)
Whether it’s exploring ChatGPT or deepening your faith, staying interested keeps you teachable.
Pride says, I already know.
Humility says, Show me more.
That’s the doorway to growth.
Bite 5: Through the Eyes of a Child
Kids are natural Triple Hs. Everything is fascinating — every bug, every cloud, every sound.
Their curiosity is contagious because it’s pure.
They remind us that awe is not a weakness; it’s wisdom in its simplest form.
Like McConaughey — ask a child about their day, their life, their interests… and watch what happens!
“Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” – Matthew 18:4 (NIV)
Wrap-Up
This week’s gut-check: Am I being a BM or a Triple H?
Braggy McBragsalot competes by trying to be interesting.
Humble-Happy-Humans connect by being interested.
Catch other people’s excitement.
Cheer them on. Learn with them.
So this week, maybe channel a little of The Coaching Habit energy — stay curious a little longer. And if you catch a whiff of your own inner BM, smile… then course-correct.
Because the most interesting people in the world… are the ones who stay interested.
Until next time, Excelsior!
– Matt
Thank you to our sponsors
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