1️⃣ You Don’t Not Care — You’re Just Finally Honest

No offense (WARNING – OFFENSE COMING)…but I saw a minivan the other day and this is what I thought about…

People say that as you get older, “you stop caring what others think.” I don’t fully buy this synopsis. Here’s what I think really happens is:

You start recognizing who you are. You stop shape-shifting for approval. You stop apologizing for your wiring (we’ll get into that word in just a minute). And with that clarity, comes a peace and a comfort in your own skin. Not apathy. Not rebellion. Just permission. To be who you already are — minus the guilt.

Let me build on this a little…this is also easier said than done for many of us.

If you’re a leader or running a business, do you feel like you really have the luxury of being fully comfortable, or do you still feel like you have to put on the show?

And if you’re married or in a very comfortable long-term relationship, is it easier…are you both doing it and that makes it even easier…probably!

On the contrary, if you’re later-in-life-single – do you feel like you can let your guard down and be comfortable…probably not?

I’m gonna wrap up this bite…and this might sound a little over the top or even off topic…remember:

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” – Ian Maclaren

2️⃣ Tools That Help You See Yourself (Before the World Does)

Self-awareness isn’t a vibe — it’s a muscle…you need to PUMP IT UP!

And thankfully, there are tools to help us identify it SO THAT we can harness ourself and maybe train some self-awareness muscles: –

• Working Genius – From Patrick Lencioni. Six simple types that reveal where your energy comes from at work (more on that in Bite #3). Shoutout to John Glon who turned me onto it.
• AcuMax Index – Measures how you’re wired — not your personality — and helps with everything from hiring to communication.
• DISC – An oldie but still helpful.
• The Mirror – You know… real feedback. From real people. The kind that stings but sets you free. These tools don’t define you. But they sure help decode you.

You will hear me talk a lot about these tools and self-awareness in my podcast or in just about every conversation!

3️⃣ You Might Be the Asshole, Asshole

There’s a concept I reference often — and it’s cursed me sometimes when I fall for it…and saved me other times when I’ve tamed it: The Fundamental Attribution Error. It’s a core idea in social psychology (which I got a 4.3 in – mmmmm), but is clearly articulated by Patrick Lencioni, in Episode #89 of The Working Genius Podcast on Apple Podcast or Spotify. Here’s how he breaks it down: – When someone else screws up, we assume it’s a flaw in their character. – When we screw up, we chalk it up to circumstances.

“I’m not a bad person—I’m just having a rough day.” But they? “They’re just difficult (or an a-hole).” We do this constantly — on the road, in meetings, even at home.

But what if… that behavior we’re judging in someone else isn’t a flaw at all — it’s a feature? Using Lencioni’s Working Genius model (where he breaks down 6 types of genius – Wonder, Invention, Discernment, Galvanizing, Enablement, and Tenacity)…we can easily look at these geniuses as flaws:

1. Wonderer = “They’re stalling.”
2. Inventor = “They’re flaky.”
3. Discerner = “They’re critical.”
4. Galvanizer = “They’re bossy.”
5. Enabler = “They’re a pushover.”
6. Tenacity = “They’re cold or unsympathetic.”

PARADIGM SHIFT — Maybe they’re just working out of their God-given wiring — their genius. And maybe our reaction says more about us than it does about them.

“Seek to understand more than to be understood.” – St. Francis of Assisi

(for those of you who have seen my office…he’s on my wall of inspiring people!)

Try this powerful lens:

• Curiosity > Criticism
• Understanding > Judgment
• Wiring > Wrongness

So yeah… You might be the asshole, asshole. Or maybe you’re just finally realizing… not everyone else is one either.

Credit: Insights from Patrick Lencioni’s The Working Genius Podcast – Episode 89. Highly recommended.

And remember this one…kinda like in bite 1…“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.  Be kind.  Always.” – Robin Williams

And hey, reach out to my buddy John Glon if you want some help with this…he’s a Certified The Six Types of Working Genius “GENIUS” (or whatever they call their black belt ninjas), also a business coach and CEO of Great Lakes Essential Power…he’s done a ton of work on himself and shares this with everyone he meets…

4️⃣ Strengths Aren’t Excuses

Yes, lean into your strengths.

But don’t weaponize them as reasons to opt out of growth.

• Saying “I’m not a details guy” can’t become a permission slip to be unreliable.
• Saying “I’m an ideas person” can’t excuse flakiness.
• Saying “I’m wired this way” doesn’t mean you stop growing.

You still have to deliver. You still have to show up.

Your name and your reputation are all you have.

Or as Tony Montana once said: “I got two things in this world — my word and my balls.”

Come on…do what you say you’re gonna do…admit when you fuck up…and stop making excuses.

Need help with this…?

Read “Excuses be gone” by Wayne Dyer (I’ve made all my kids listen to this in car trips on audio book)

…oh and THANK YOU…I’m not a “details” guy nor a guy who EVER wrote, journaled, or probably ever followed a process…but YOU as a reader / listener are helping me to remain accountable to put out 1-2 podcasts a month…and a newsletter a week.  SO THANKS~~~!!!

5️⃣ You’re Uniquely Qualified to Be Exactly Where You Are

If there’s one thing people hear me say in almost every podcast, it’s that statement…and it’s because when I’m sitting across from someone, hearing their story, it thumps me right between the eyes, almost EVERY TIME!

Everything about you — the way you’re wired, the family, friends, and foes around you, the shit you’ve walked through, even the “flaws” you’ve carried— it’s all useful. God doesn’t waste any of these things – he’s the great recycler.

“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” – Frederick Buechner

This quote makes me smile when I see someone in their flow state (or when I’m in mine)…it doesn’t feel like work when you’re there…because we’re at that awesome intersection of supply (the gift we have) and demand (what the world needs)…BOOM! So if you’re not where you want to be yet, don’t panic. You’re not behind. You’re just becoming.

🏁 That’s a Wrap

This issue’s not about navel-gazing. It’s about naming — so we can lead, love, and live better.

Know thyself. Grow thyself. 👉 Got a tool or moment that helped you get to know you? Hit reply. I’d love to hear it — maybe even include it in a future issue.

And if you’re likin’ what you’re readin’, there’s more where that came from:

👉 www.BLTnT.com

Until next time…Excelsior!

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About 5 Bites

5 Bites is a weekly serving of bite-sized insights across Business, Life, Technology, and Transformations—built for leaders, learners, and curious minds who want faster takeaways that stick and ignite something explosive 🧨